How to find out what you truly want: The 7 Levels of Why

· Do you really know what you desire? ·

How to find out what you truly want

Apparently, we are subjected to more than 4,000 ads per day! Some stats even say it could be as many as 10,000 ads per day. Let's go with the lower number. There are 1,440 minutes per day. Subsequently this means we get bombarded with 2.8 ads per minute in one day! And all are aimed at making you want something. Desire their product...

Don’t get me wrong. To have desire is great! As it keeps you on track what you want in life and where you want to be. I do have two issues with desire though.

Number 1: Desire becomes unhealthy, when we focus on the negative. When we desire something, because we think we are not good enough or we compare ourselves to others and want something because of peer pressure.

Number 2: We get desensitised to realise what it truly is we want. Why is that? First of all, everyone has a hectic lifestyle. We don’t pause to listen to our emotions or feelings or being mindful. We push forward in life. Secondly, because we constantly get bombarded with ads making us subconsciously believe we need it.

Does fulfilling our desires equals happiness?

Often we think, that by fulfilling our desire, we will be happy. Far from it. If we only desire something because of external reasons, we will never achieve happiness from within. It turns into a drug addiction. We desire more and more to get the feeling of happiness. But the result is only short lived and a soothing mechanism.

You know exactly what I mean when I mention the word “retail therapy”. Retail therapy is a comfort buy. You purchase something to make you feel better. It can often be seen in people who are stressed or depressed. Comfort buys are purely happening to cover up a withdrawal. You are missing something in your life. It might be love. It could be appreciation. Sometimes it could be related to self-confidence. Or as mentioned before you are comparing yourself to others. That’s why you do it.

So how do you find out what you truly want?

By simply asking the 7 levels of why! This way you will realise, if it’s something you want internally or if you are being influenced. You may wonder now how it works. Easy. Write down the most important aspect of why you want something that you desire. Then ask WHY you want it. Write down the answer and again ask WHY you want it.

By the time, you get to level 7, you have a clear idea why you desire something. For example, you find out that you only want to have this new car, because your neighbour got one. This is clearly a sign that YOU do not truly want it. Do you agree?

You can do this exercise for all areas in your life. For work, financials, friends, your home, family, your partnerships and your health. Looking at your answers, you may even notice similarities. Or the same kind of feelings pop up.

My tip for you

Always do something for internal reasons (for yourself) and not for external reasons (for others). That’s how you feel more fulfilled. DO IT FOR YOU!!!

Over to you, what are your tips and tricks to find out what you truly want?

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