Since I've been self-employed, I love this meme that says: If you hear me talking to myself - don't disturb me, am having a team meeting!
But what is it with these voices in your head, that you keep hearing all day? Sometimes they whisper. Sometimes they are a bit louder. Sometimes they are angry little voices. Sometimes they seem to sing. Even when meditating, they are there. Welcome to Monkey Mind.
Monkey Mind are the chattering voices in your head. They mean well. They warn you. Sometimes they go into overdrive. Especially when you try to sleep at night; your racing mind stops you from relaxing and falling asleep.
When I returned to Germany and moved back with my mum and dad, I didn’t just have one monkey in my mind. It felt like a million of them. Swinging from one thought to the other. Screaming and chattering away. I let go of one thought only to grasp onto another. Unfortunately, it was only negative chatter!
Do you want a little taste of the thoughts that my Monkey Mind produced?
It went from ‘I will always be alone as I will never find someone’ to ‘My business will not be successful and it will be a big failure’ to ‘I will loose all the little money I have left and hence will end up with nothing’ to ‘I will never be able to live independently again and will be stuck in this little town in Germany with my parents’ to ‘No-one truly understands what I am going through as they all have it so much better than me’ to ‘I will never feel content and I will never achieve to love myself’ to ‘I will never enjoy life again’. And then hurray – it went into loop – here we go again. Round 365…
If a friend would talk to you like that, you most likely turn around and leave and never speak to him/her again. It’s not that easy with Monkey Mind – it goes wherever you go!
First of all, you need to realise that Monkey Mind is something positive. It’s core job is to protect you from threats and to keep you alive. And to help you get the things you want to achieve in your life. You need this little genius called Monkey Mind.
The challenge starts when your mind is going into overdrive and you can’t let go of your thoughts! Even worse, when Monkey Mind starts imagining things that haven’t even happened! As it was in my case; my Monkey Mind chattered loudly when I moved back to Germany and my life completely turned upside down. I took a step into new territory. I started setting up my own business. I stopped having a social life. I only worked and worked and worked. And despite feeling so miserable and exhausted and overwhelmed I pushed through as I felt this is the right thing to do. Don’t ask me why I was so sure about it. I can’t explain it. I just had this feeling inside me to keep going!
A coach once told me: “Monkey Mind especially flares up, if you take action on your most precious ideas, dreams, and vision. Experiencing Monkey Mind means that you are truly up to something big.”
Is this true?
Well, looking at my Monkey Mind loop list today – which is four years later, I’m happy to tell you that my fears haven’t materialised. My business has grown, it’s not a failure. I’ve not lost all my money, I actually make money. The last nine months I’ve lived in East Africa again – my online business allows me to work from anywhere in the world as long as there’s WiFi. And to kill two birds with one stone, I enjoy my life and the independence I have. Am still single though, but do you know what? It doesn’t even bother me anymore. Most importantly, I know that one day, I will meet my special someone.